To Dare a Rogue by Lana Williams

Author:Lana Williams [Williams, Lana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lana Williams
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

~*~

James paced the study of his apartment, rubbing a hand over his face. The night had been long and terrible. The images that lingered from his dreams had yet to fade.

He eyed the crystal decanter and glasses that sat on the nearby table but knew alcohol only offered temporary numbness. But the notion of any sort of numbness was welcome. Especially after receiving the brief note from Charlotte.

James,

Can we meet this afternoon?

C

Their time together had to come to an end. He needed to find the strength to tell her that.

The night had been one of the more miserable since his return home. His nightmare of the last terrible battle had been so real. The chaos. The darkness interspersed by flashes of light. The cannon fire that had bombarded his regiment and torn them apart. Literally. Bits and pieces of his men had flown about as one heavy blast after another struck them.

He wasn't certain why the nightmare had been so vivid this time, but it left him with his heart pounding and in a cold sweat. The thought of reliving that again—over and over as seemed to be his destiny—made him shudder. He wasn't strong enough to face them.

Had it been the rumbling waterfall or the fireworks bursting that had brought his memories to the surface again? Possibly. Or was it his feelings for Charlotte as well as the hope that accompanied them? He’d fallen asleep last night wondering what if...

What if a future with her was possible?

What if he was whole enough to be the husband she deserved?

But the nightmare had wiped away the possibility. He was only a shell of a man and a fragile one at that. He had no business spending time with her, let alone kissing her or holding her in his arms when he could never offer marriage.

Resolved to what must be done, he strode quickly to his desk and dipped his pen in the inkwell only to pause and press his free hand against his aching heart.

If only he were a normal man, healthy and whole. Then perhaps he could find a way to explain his feelings to Edward and properly court Charlotte.

But he wasn’t. After last night, he had no doubt. The passage of time hadn’t aided his condition in the least. If anything, it was worsening. He would never be a fit husband or father. How could he take care of someone else when he couldn’t take care of himself? Longing for something different was pointless.

He tightened his hold on the pen and wrote quickly before he could change his mind.

No. I wish you well.

J.

Then he folded the message, sealed it, and rang for his valet.

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